I am delighted to have as my guest
© Sophie King
Sophie ~ welcome back to jaffareadstoo and thanks for taking the time to be our guest blogger today....
AM I THE ONLY ONE...
AM I THE ONLY ONE who wasn’t totally surprised by the recent survey in one of my favourite daily newspapers, which declared that only half of all couples have sex on their wedding night?
Apparently, the no-goers blamed their lack of performance on exhaustion and arguments during the reception. (Makes you wonder what happened during the speeches, doesn’t it?)
Now I’m not going to talk about my own two experiences in case the children read this. (Sorry!) But it did get me thinking... What really makes a marriage tick? And is sex an essential part of it?
Now I don’t know about you but there’s nothing like a good cuddle to make you feel better. The wonderful warmth of someone putting their arms around you, combined with the smell of their skin, is better than any tonic in a bottle.
But that only works if you actually like the person in the first place – and liking is an important part of loving. “I love my husband but I don’t like him very much,” confided a friend a few years ago. Within nine months, they had separated. (And by the way, they hadn’t had sex for quite a while.)
Of course ‘quite a while’ can mean all kinds of things, can’t it? Two months; six months; a year; more...The thing is that none of us know what is ‘normal’ because not everyone wants to come clean in case they’re different from everyone else.
Maybe there should be some Government guidelines on this, rather like ‘five a day’. (I’m talking fruit and veg here, obviously.)
And what about some leeway here for couples with young children who are simply too shattered to mumble, let alone fumble...
All this is actually quite important when you’re writing romantic fiction. If your hero and heroine are constantly making hay between the sheets, you might well turn off the reader who neither has the time or inclination to do the same herself (or himself).
On the other hand, a novelist might be providing exactly the kind of escapism that the reader wants...
In my latest Sophie King book, SECOND TIME LUCKY, Louise is a recently divorced mother of two. She falls hook, line and sinker for the one man whom her (unfaithful) husband doesn’t want her to marry. Does she find passion? You bet. But she also discovers companionship, understanding and humour – all of which are crucial to a marriage in my book.
Mind you, she has to go through some pretty big hurdles to get there – but then again, that’s life.
Meanwhile, I'm off to do a bit of research. Not in the bedroom department but in the wedding reception arena. I want to know about those arguments at the top table! It might make for a new novel...
© Sophie King
DO YOU HAVE A FUNNY STORY ABOUT YOUR WEDDING NIGHT?
You could win a print copy of her latest book.
My thanks to Sophie King for kindly providing this guest post and to
Ian at Great Stories With Heart.